In the world of work, being assertive is a real asset.

Learning to be assertive in the right way also helps to improve skills. We can therefore say that assertiveness is an essential soft skill today.

So how do you go about developing assertive behavior? Answer!

What is assertiveness exactly?

If you want to define assertiveness simply, you can say that it is the ability to assert yourself, to be respected. But assertive behavior is not limited to assertiveness.

It also refers to the combativeness and courage of a person to make themselves heard and to their ability to get messages across without any aggressiveness or power relationships.

The definition given by Salter is the ability to formulate ideas clearly.

To develop assertiveness, you must already become aware of behaviors that are the opposite of assertive attitudes.‍

Discover now How to develop your courage and your fighting spirit.

Behaviors that are the opposite of assertiveness

There are different attitudes that are the opposite of assertiveness. Passivity, lack of trust, aggressiveness, manipulation, dominance.

Assertive behavior is the opposite of passivity

Asserting yourself should not be confused with taking a position involving flight and a break in communication. Indeed, passivity is nothing more than a form of conflict avoidance.

However, being passive does not solve anything. It is best to deal with others and to adopt a respectful and open posture to resolve conflicts.

Aggressiveness does not rhyme with assertiveness

Aggression is not part of being assertive. Indeed, it is not possible to communicate when you are angry and under tension.

At work, being aggressive also means not listening to others or making decisions without consulting colleagues. Assertiveness is the opposite of aggressive behavior because on the contrary there is respect and communication.

Being assertive is not manipulating or dominating

Manipulation is a form of dominance and is an attitude that is completely incompatible with assertive behavior. Indeed, being assertive is not about influencing others for your own interests.

Lack of trust that is incompatible with assertiveness

People who know how to be assertive also have confidence in themselves. Indeed, to have good relationships and effective communication, on an equal footing, a minimum of self-confidence is essential. So lack of trust does not echo assertiveness.

Why adopt assertive behavior?

There are lots of good reasons to be assertive at work.

Here are the main ones:

- Being assertive allows you to maintain your space and integrity while maintaining these same things for the other person.

- Developing assertiveness facilitates positioning in relationships and pacifies exchanges.

Assertive behavior allows others to express their ideas without fear.

All the other positive aspects of assertive behavior at work

- Have exchanges in complete confidence

- Feeling listened to

- Assertive behavior makes it possible to unite teams

- And to work in a pleasant and healthy environment.

Being assertive reduces the risks and the intensity of conflicts.

7 ways to be assertive

1. Establish authentic and clear communication with your employees
2. Speak up when necessary and even if it means expressing a contrary idea
3. Formulate constructive criticism
4. Always take responsibility
5. Addressing conflicts fairly and peacefully
6. Know how to say no if it's right to do it
7. Be able to manage a refusal

Discover How to deal with conflicts in the right way at work.

Our advice for asserting yourself accurately

• Get to know each other better

Personal development is a search for self-knowledge and self-improvement. By knowing yourself better, you can more easily develop your assertiveness.

Self-knowledge also brings more respect, empathy and kindness. Assertiveness is the ability to be assertive while respecting others, and it is possible if you are able to respect yourself first.

• Listen to others actively

To assert yourself accurately, it is also important to develop active listening skills. Contrary to what the expression active listening conveys at first glance, active listening actually starts with silence.

We let the other person express themselves without interrupting them to really understand what they mean. To listen actively is also to perceive the things behind the words, it is to capture emotions and true intentions. Active listening contributes to better assertiveness on a daily basis.

• Express yourself using the first person

Talking in the first person is an assertive behavior. Indeed, by saying “I” you take responsibility for what you say and show your involvement in the conversation.

• Do not accept everything

Being assertive means knowing how to say no or I don't know, I need time to give you an answer. Even at work, saying no is possible and it is essential if it is a question of opposing something that is unfair or that does not respect who we are.

Develop your assertiveness with our certified coaches

Everyone has the skills they need to be assertive. But it is true that it is sometimes more natural and easy for some people.

In any case, developing your assertiveness is possible! If you feel the need, know that you can be accompanied by a professional. Discover now our coaching offers.

Professional coaching to develop assertiveness has multiple advantages. It contributes to the success of the company and to the individual personal development of employees.

It allows you managers, and your employees, to better deal with obstacles, improve your skills, determine your goals more accurately and manage more effectively. Team coaching is perfect for developing your company's employees.

Our certified coaches have all been trained in VISCONTI Executive Coaching Academy.How do you go about being listened to, how to communicate properly and how to resolve conflicts? Having self-confidence, knowing how to assert yourself and being respected by developing your assertiveness are the keys.